I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
