oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
