at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm always down for nudity.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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