Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
