Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
