Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
