I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I party with great urgency now.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
