ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
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