May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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