in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
