We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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