Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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