She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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