therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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