Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
