my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
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