nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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