I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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