My first STD was from a foam party
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
