hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My ATM looks so different sober.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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