pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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