If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
