Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
