I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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