What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
