Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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