Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
