I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
