haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
