is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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