let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
