come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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