zippers are such a cool invention
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
