bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
