I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
