just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
