I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
