wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Randomize
