Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
