no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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