I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
