"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
