I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
