so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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