wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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