You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
