Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she smelled like a LAN party
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
as a side note pls kill me
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
