I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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