I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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