Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
