I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
