Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
